Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Why, why, why, Delia?

At least once every day, I find myself asking questions—to myself, or to anyone who’ll listen—in my unquenchable thirst for learning. And I don’t even mean big, weighty questions (at least not most of the time); I’m talking silly questions about little things. This morning, as I asked myself yet another little question, I thought I’d ask everyone to send me some of your questions, and maybe even some of your answers. Let’s ask some questions of the universe and see what replies we get!

1. Why does Scotch tape tear so easily down its length, but to cut a piece requires a sharp edge (or your teeth)?

2. Why do cowbirds lay their eggs in other birds’ nests, totally ignoring their responsibility for the next generation?

3. Why do dishonest, corrupt, or otherwise bad people get so much money and power, while kind, intelligent, and good people usually toil in obscurity, never getting the opportunity to share their goodness and intelligence with the wider world? (although blogging has helped a lot of these people reach a wider audience)

Your turn. Send me some questions and/or answers, and let’s see what new things we can learn.

Oh--P.S.--why do so many people see my name and pronounce it "Delilah"? There is only 1 L in there. I know it's not a common name, but still....

20 comments:

nina said...

Ever play Balderdash--where you make up answers to questions and try to outwit others as to who has the actual reason? (I feel like I could fake a good answer to the scotch tape for you):
Tape is made by a process that creates huge sheets of "film" that are then sprayed with adhesive and rolled onto very wide carriers. The widths of tape rolls are then cut, side-by-side (this process uses a hot blade) which results in their edges being somewhat stronger and tear-resistant.
Or is that Balderdash?

KatDoc said...

1) For the same reason it takes many chops of an ax to cut through a log and it only takes one blow to split it lengthwise. Because the grain (fibers, whatever) run parallel to the long axis, so splitting them is easier than cutting through them.

2) Because they evolved following the bison herds, which were constantly on the move, thus never leaving the cowbirds time for nest building, egg-laying, incubation, and young-rearing. When the urge came to reproduce and the female needed to lay an egg, she looked for the closest nest. My extension of this question is "Why don't the other birds recognize the cowbird egg or chick as alien and boot it out?" (The American Robin does reject some cowbird eggs.)

3) Uhh - you got me. Because it takes a certain amount of egocentric behavior to make money, while altruism is not rewarded (financially)?

Good questions,

~Kathi, who wonders why the bread always falls peanut butter side down and into pet hair

Mary said...

Ok, Delia. Scotch tape has never been a problem for me. Plastic wrap, however, makes me curse in the kitchen. Someone in charge needs to engineer dispenser "rolls" better.

Cowbirds are lazy bloodsuckers.

Kind people are kind enough to allow scum to rule.

~~~~~

It's been a rough day and that's all I can offer tonight.

You go, Delia!

Susan Gets Native said...

Del-ee-ya......right?

Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, what makes Teflon stick to the pan?
Why does a dog hate it when you blow in his face, but in a car, put the window down and he sticks his head out?

dguzman said...

Wow, these answers are excellent!

1. Never thought about the fact that plastic is polymers, which would have a "grain" and thus there's the cross-cut vs the rip-cut approach, like with wood. Thank you Nina (sounds logical to me, and I LOVE Balderdash!) and Katdoc!

2. Katdoc, you are fast becoming Science Chimp Jr.! That makes sense; poor little birds! Still--the "lazy bloodsuckers" theory might explain why their behavior has continued in non-bison-roaming areas, right, Mary?

3. Both your answers make sense, Katdoc and Mary. Our current administration almost makes me believe in the existence of Satan.

Susan--great pronunciation! I always say "It's Delia, like deluge." Those are also great questions!

Hope you'll all consider yourselves tagged with the "three questions" meme!

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How often do you think about parrots?

Not often enough. These 5 tips will have you rushing out to the pet store.

In fact, don't delay. Don't even read the rest of this article. Don't even get dressed, get in your car and go buy one.

Then rush back to find out how darn useful they are. Why are you still there? Get going now.

You back? Take the wrapping off of your parrot. Sit it on your shoulder, peering at the screen with you, so you can learn together. Prepare to be amazed.

1. Parrots mimic what you do. There...did you see? They are amazing creatures. In that split second, they discovered how to use a PC, keyboard and mouse. You can now get a proper job, and your parrot will blog for you all day. Better still, when you get home, they'll tell you the best posts they read, recite any comments you've received, and save you trolling through the usual nonsense.

2. Not many people know this, but parrots are fantastic swimmers. They love it. And they can save you a fortune on plumbing bills. Blocked toilet? Simply flush your parrot. They get right to cause of the blockage and their beaks are especially designed to break up the crap. When the parrot emerges for air grab it straight away. They love it so much, they'll just dive straight back in otherwise. Can't be bothered washing them? Stick 'em straight in the washer. They adore the spin cycle.

3. Lazy? Overweight? Unfit? Pissed off with society telling you to eat less or exercise more? Fear not. Parrots are not only IT-savvy, they are amazing chefs. And you can combine those skills together. They can internet shop. Have the ingredients for your favourite meals delivered, and a most fantastic gourmet delight served piping hot for your arrival home from work. Parrot feathers absorb grease, oils and other leftovers. So when you have finished, simply wipe your plate with your parrot. Voila! a clean dish for your next meal tomorrow.

4. Take them to the office. Perched on your cubicle, specially adapted bluetooth headsets make them ideal secretaries. They can take sales calls. Answer the usual bull you have to listen to from colleagues. And shit on them if they really get on your nerves.

5. Improve your sex life. Chase your parrot around the room vigorously for 10 minutes. Make whooping noises. It has to be frightened. The adrenaline transfers an irresistible hormone which can be extracted from the sweat. Wipe it with a cloth. Dab your neck with the cloth before your date. DON'T go into the restaurant. Instead meet her for a drink. One whiff of your parrot-aroma will save you a fortune. She will want to go back to your place straight away. Just try stopping her undressing you in the cab home.

LauraHinNJ said...

I work with a Delea (Da-lee-a) and everyone calls her Delilah too.

;-(

You pronouce it the Spanish way, right?

I don't have any answers, just questions.

dguzman said...

Wow, does anyone know who this parrot person is? It's kind of funny, but only one question--my answer is: pretty much never. Maybe once a year, if that.

Oh, and Kathi: I too have experienced the bread falling pb-side down, and for a long time I've called all unfortunate mishaps in my life "jelly side down" moments.... I get at least one a day. Oy vey.

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