After discussing my weird feelings the other day with several commenters, I think I figured it out--I was having an anxiety attack. It had been so long since I'd had one that I guess I'd forgotten what they feel like! I used to get them all the time back when I was teaching college English (1990-1996). After I quit, my ulcer, my anxiety attacks, and my general bad mood mysteriously went away.
It's strange; all my life I had wanted to be a teacher. Yet from the beginning of my career, the day-to-day life of a teacher was just so tough for me. The teaching part was easy; it was the meeting of new people every semester, the constant sense that I was "performing" as if onstage each day--that's what I couldn't stand. I had my moments of fun, especially when I designed a course with a teaching colleague, but the actual standing in front of people always kinda beat me down. And I won't even go into the ceaseless and exhausting grading. Students would complain about having to write a paper every week in my composition classes; I would tell them, "You have to write one paper a week. I have to grade 150 papers a week. I'd trade places with you any day!"
Anyway, that was many years (and many careers) ago. On to the birdy excitement of the moment! Here's the status on my camera-to-scope adapter.
Here's a picture of the little knobs and rubber strips I found at Lowe's:
So tonight, I have to take some measurements of the scope eyepiece and the camera lens etc. and cut a piece of PVC pipe to serve as the adapter itself. I drill a few holes for the clamping knobs and thumbscrews. As to why I got the thumbscrews: I figure I'll leave the thumb screws set, and I'll loosen and tighten the clamping knobs to attach/detach the adapter. We'll see if that works.
I'll have an update for you tomorrow! And thank you to all the commenters who wished me well after my weird feeling attack. Happily, nothing was wrong with anyone -- at least no one I know. And I got a little insight into my "inner birds" as FranSheIs called them, those inner thoughts and subconscious goings-on that we all must face from time to time.
It's strange; all my life I had wanted to be a teacher. Yet from the beginning of my career, the day-to-day life of a teacher was just so tough for me. The teaching part was easy; it was the meeting of new people every semester, the constant sense that I was "performing" as if onstage each day--that's what I couldn't stand. I had my moments of fun, especially when I designed a course with a teaching colleague, but the actual standing in front of people always kinda beat me down. And I won't even go into the ceaseless and exhausting grading. Students would complain about having to write a paper every week in my composition classes; I would tell them, "You have to write one paper a week. I have to grade 150 papers a week. I'd trade places with you any day!"
Anyway, that was many years (and many careers) ago. On to the birdy excitement of the moment! Here's the status on my camera-to-scope adapter.
Here's a picture of the little knobs and rubber strips I found at Lowe's:
thumb screws, clamping knobs, and vacuum cleaner belt
So tonight, I have to take some measurements of the scope eyepiece and the camera lens etc. and cut a piece of PVC pipe to serve as the adapter itself. I drill a few holes for the clamping knobs and thumbscrews. As to why I got the thumbscrews: I figure I'll leave the thumb screws set, and I'll loosen and tighten the clamping knobs to attach/detach the adapter. We'll see if that works.
I'll have an update for you tomorrow! And thank you to all the commenters who wished me well after my weird feeling attack. Happily, nothing was wrong with anyone -- at least no one I know. And I got a little insight into my "inner birds" as FranSheIs called them, those inner thoughts and subconscious goings-on that we all must face from time to time.
7 comments:
What a good post to read. Hang in there sister and I really admire your openness and your humanity. It is quite beautiful and made manifest through your love of nature. And blogging!
Your adapter plans have me intrigued. Looking forward to an update.
Fran, you rock so freakin' hard. You're too kind.
I've never had a panic attack but both my husband and my daughter have. I feel for you honey. I hope things are better. I am so excited to hear how your digiscoping adapter project goes!!
Thanks, Lynne! Didn't have time to work on it last night after all (calculus--ugh), but I'm going to do it this weekend.
Delia--so glad you figured out what caused your feeling weird.
I have not had a panic attack, but my daughter did one time (when she was attending college in DC) & she called me, & I almost had to talk her back to feeling in control. She was on a bus going to work, & had to get the bus to stop so she could get off.
As for teaching--very accurate description--meeting new people, performing. I compensate two ways--first, I make a chart & fill in the student names, so I learn them quickly. Second, I KNOW I am performing--so that's a comfort in a strange way.
Glad you are happier where you are now in life--that is really all that matters.
One more thing--I would rather teach ANY DAY, than ever take calculus!
If I had a scope, I would ask you to make me an adapter. But I don't, so I won't.
*can someone pass the whine?*
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